3 Easy Ways to Make Sure You’re Choosing the Right Online Dating Site for Singles

online dating site for singles

Meeting someone at the bar or grocery store used to be the best way to find love, but in today’s digital age, the Internet has improved the dating experience by leaps and bounds. Unfortunately, many people get stuck on an online dating site for singles that prioritizes the most attractive profile pictures instead of real, genuine people.

In order to find a safe and trusted online dating site for singles, there are a few, crucial things that you should be looking for. Transparency is key in online dating, particularly if you’re planning on meeting your suitor in person. Online dating sites that do not emphasise safety often leave their users vulnerable. They may be duped or even worse, stalked by someone who lied about their identity.

If you’re searching for a truly safe online dating site, there are a few basic principles and features that you should keep in mind. Here are three of the simplest ways to know for sure that you’re using a safe online dating site for singles:

  • Transparency
    There are more than 54 million singles out there, which means you should never have to settle for someone who is being shady about their true identity. If a single dating site user is only willing to post one picture that looks like it was taken by a professional photographer, there’s a good chance that they found that picture online. The safest dating sites make users post more than one picture and will delete profiles that engage in shady tactics online.
  • Background check dating
    Perhaps the best way to guarantee that you’re not being duped online is to join a dating site that makes all of its users undergo a background check. Generally speaking, if a website is free and does not boast a background check, you should run for the hills. About 33% of online daters have paid to use an online dating site or app, and they generally have a much better experience than those who opt for free sites that do not have the resources to perform background checks.
  • Video chat
    Approximately 71% of people say they believe in love at first sight, and the best way to catch a live glimpse of your suitor before meeting in person is with video chat. Try to find an online dating site for singles that offers this key feature. Even if someone posts 100 pictures of an attractive person, you can never be sure it’s actually them until you see them in living color.

These might seem like obvious things to look for, but you may be surprised at how many singles rush into a relationship online without truly knowing who is on the other side of the screen. Find a safe dating site that provides all of these features and take advantage of everything online dating has to offer.

How to Protect Yourself From a Dangerous First Date

safe dating onlineCould you be more vulnerable to crime thanks to online dating? According to statistics released by the Daily Mail, the answer is yes. In the U.K., crime was linked to online dating in 378 crime reports, up from 180 in 2013. Crimes included rape, violent crimes, and blackmail. According to a National Crime Agency study, attacks are most likely to happen on the very first date.

“This emerging threat appears to be a result of the increasing popularity of online dating – including free and subscription services, dating websites, apps and ‘hook up’ services- combined with the behaviours and expectations fostered by an online environment,” explained the report.

Online dating is becoming a ubiquitous way to meet people, and 42% of all Americans have said that they know an online dater. Many people even know of married couples who found each other through various apps and websites — almost a fourth of online daters say that online dating led to a long term relationship or marriage.

What holds many people back from participating in online dating is still the relative lack of safety and security involved with the process. In many cases, it’s impossible to know if someone’s pictures on an online dating site are really them — or even if it’s their real name!

It’s possible to have a safe dating online experience — you just need to be careful. For instance, the report points out that sexual offenders often exploit dating websites by carefully cultivating a feeling of familiarity.

“[The ease of access] is aided by potential victims not thinking of them as strangers, but someone they have got to know,” says the report.

No matter how charming, safe or comfortable a stranger seems online, always remember that they are a stranger — and bad guys don’t necessarily give off obvious red flags before you meet them. Always meet in a public place, tell someone where you are going, and have your phone charged. If necessary, have a friend call at a specific time to make sure everything is going okay.

For safe dating online, you can also research what background checks, if any, certain dating sites perform. Safe online dating sites will make sure that your matches are listing their real names, their relationship status, and that they don’t have a criminal conviction. In general, paid sites tend to offer more security and support than free sites do.

There are almost 55 million U.S. singles, so dating websites aren’t going away anytime soon. Safe dating online isn’t an outdated practice. If anything, statistics show that it’s more important than ever.

The Dangers of Online Dating – What is a ‘Catfish?’

online dating sites

Let’s face it: dating is difficult. The bar scene is crowded, and the blind dates your friends set you up on never go well. What’s a young single to do?

There are more than 52 million single adults out there, many of whom many turn to online dating sites for a chance to make a connection with someone. In fact, 59% of Internet users agree that online dating is a good way to meet people.

Continue reading The Dangers of Online Dating – What is a ‘Catfish?’

DON’T SAY “I LOVE YOU” (Until You’ve Read This)

How do you know you’ve hit that crucial time in a relationship where you’re ready to profess those three special words to each other? And even if you’re ready, should you be the one to say it first? While we may believe (due to the stigma that romantic comedies have thrust upon us) that women are almost always the ones to fall in love first, studies have shown that typically men are the ones who think about and profess their love first in a relationship—and here we all thought men were afraid of commitment!

And now we’re back to wondering why that is? Researchers concluded that women are more okay with waiting longer to profess their love because of fairly primal and biological reasons. Due to the fact that women are the child bearers of the human race this causes them to be far more selective in regards to the men they want to allow into and keep in their lives as romantic partners. We know this sounds super Darwin of us, but it’s due to the fact that they want to be sure they’re choosing the right “mate” for themselves that they would be able to reproduce and spend a life with.

On the other hand, the question of when to say it still is a baffling one. While according to studies men were happier hearing professions of love before having sex with their partner, women were happier hearing the professions after having had sex with their partner. Men involved in the studied said that they felt like the confessions were more genuine if said before having sex, and this caused a more positive reaction and experience a greater amount of happiness if “I love you” was said before doing the deed.

However with women involved in the study, they believed that saying “I love you” before having sex was far less sincere. Many women have experienced at some time or another a man confessing his supposed love for her just to get into her pants. So gents, maybe say the magic words a little later on.

Either way, the most important part of saying “I love you” is making sure that you genuinely feel those emotions and mean what you’re saying. The profession of love leads to a commitment that is a pretty big deal and if you’re not ready for that, that’s okay too. In relationships one of the best things you could do is be honest with each other. And if you’re going to say it then make sure you’re ready to show it. Half of being in love is simply being there for your partner. If you aren’t ready to commit yourself to being an important part of another person’s life yet then it’s not the best idea to spew words dripping with “I love you” their way.

8 Virtues Every Man Should Have

 

As we’re growing up we see princes and princesses littering our television and filling our minds with such sensationalized visions of what true love is. While we might not all get a custom made glass slipper in this lifetime, that doesn’t mean that we should be settling for men who don’t have some of the most basic and attainable traits that make up what we believe is a “good man.”  Here are the 8 virtues that every man should have:

1. He is, in every sense of the word, a gentleman.

This doesn’t mean that he has to pay for every single date you go out on and it doesn’t mean that he has to lay down on top of a puddle for you to step on him so that you don’t get your feet wet (and yes that used to be a thing). This means that he’s kind to not only you, but everyone he knows. This means that he treats others with respect and doesn’t associate closely with others who are blatantly disrespectful. We know the modern age has been allowing men to get away with a lot of different things but we believe being a gentleman goes past saying “please” and “thank you.”

2. He has some sort of goal or ambition.

Whether it’s getting that new promotion at work or strengthening his relationship with his brother, he should have some sort of motivation in his life. With this in mind, it’s also important for you to not be overly judgmental of him. As long as he has a goal and is doing what he can to work towards achieving it, that’s a step in the right direction.

3. He has a no nonsense type of approach to life and relationships.

Nothing is worse than the guy who refuses to make a decision or blows everything serious off. You don’t want a “whatever” man, you want the man who will tell you where he sees your relationship going and one who will be up front about what his thoughts are. Prying feelings out of a man is a past time that no one enjoys.

4. He is honest.

This one pretty much goes without saying. If you’re with a man and you feel compelled to snoop through his text messages or check in on him every hour when he’s out with friends, run for the hills. There is nothing more pointless than being in a relationship that has no trust because when it comes down to it, you can’t rely on a man you can’t trust.

5. He is faithful.

Not only should he be faithful to you (obviously) but also pay attention to the way he treats his friends. If he is extremely quick to turn on them or is constantly talking poorly of them to you behind their backs then you may want to think twice before committing to him. Think about it, if he’s known his friends for this long and turns on them so quickly, where does that put you in his life?

6. He doesn’t act like a prepubescent 12 year old boy.

In other words, he’s mature. While there’s nothing wrong with him wanting to bro out with his boys or play video games for a few hours to decompress after work, you also can’t date a man-child. Pay attention to the way he handles disagreements and how he deals with less than ideal situations. You don’t want to have to hear him whine every time he doesn’t get his way in an argument.

7. He is confident not cocky.

Sometimes we use these words interchangeably, but when it comes to virtue they hold very different meanings. A confident man doesn’t second guess himself at every turn, but is still open to hearing other’s opinions and discussing the options. A cocky man has a “my way or the high way” attitude that can come off as him being a “bad boy.” While we all love the thrill of a bad boy they just aren’t the commitment type and nine times out of ten you’ll be wasting your time with them.

8. He approaches life with a positive attitude.

Now, to be clear we don’t mean someone who is seeing everything through rose colored glasses. We mean the type of man who doesn’t let the little things ruin his entire day. If a cup of spilled milk gets him all riled up just image what would happen if he spilled the whole gallon (not literally but you know what we mean with our whole milk analogy—pun intended). A man who doesn’t sweat the small stuff will help you to brush off little problems as well that way when you eventually encounter a big issue you won’t immediately freak out.

Lust at First Sight: The Difference between Love and Lust

We all know the feeling. The one where you see a person from across the room and your breath catches in your wind pipe. It seems like the world has stopped spinning and for a second you can’t form any words. Every time you see them your face flushes and your heart beat speeds up to match the pace of your tapping, impatient foot and it’s only when they are out of the room that you feel as though you can relax again. That feeling you’ve just experienced my friend was lust at first sight. That’s right, we said lust not love.

The big problem for most individuals is that they don’t know the difference between love and lust. While lust is a purely primal, physical and sexual attraction to someone, love holds its roots far deeper within us. The infatuation that we experience is typically short lived and is common in the early stages of a relationship.  It can almost translate into an obsessive state of mind. When that eventually fizzles out and fades away it leaves you with the question of whether or not everything you had been feeling before was love.

The first step to recognizing whether or not you love a person that you’re infatuated with is to take them off of that ridiculously high pedestal you’ve been letting them hang out at in your mind and start to really pay attention to who they are. Lust tends to veil our eyes and we don’t end up seeing the truth in a person’s character because we’re so wrapped up in the intense feelings we have for them at the moment. So, bring them back down to the ground with you and start to have some honest conversations where you pay attention more to what they’re saying and less to what they look like while saying it.

Love is an ebb and flow type of thing. It isn’t always doe eyed and wonderful and it won’t constantly consist of nonsensical arguments that leave you tossing and turning all night. There will be ups and downs within the relationship, but you’ll want to work it out not walk out.

In the end, love is a choice. There will always be someone who is “hotter” or funnier than you or the person you’re dating, but there is only one you. You are a remarkably unique individual as is whichever person you choose to spend your life with. Getting to know the ins and outs of another human being can take a long time and the road won’t always be easy, but when you’re in love with them, really truly in love, you’ll do everything to get through the tough times because you know that’s what will make the good times even better.

The Thrill of the Chase: Should You Play Hard to Get?

All women at some point in time in their lives have been told the age old tale that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Turns out that this is a fairly true statement. When women “play hard to get” they give off the vibe that they are of value and something to be “attained” (and we’re saying this in the least objectifying way possible) by a man which in turn causes the man to want her more. It’s not rocket science, right?

On the other hand, should we have men out there playing hard to get as well? While I’m sure we’d all like to shout a unanimous “NO!” in their direction, studies have actually shown that women are most attracted to men when they were unsure whether or not the men actually liked them or not. As annoying as it may sound, the uncertainty is what may have caused this reaction from women. Since they were unsure how the men felt about them that caused them to think more about the man and in turn ended up making them like him even more.

While this entire stigma of “everyone should act aloof or unattainable” can really frustrate everyone who’s single and trying their very best to mingle it also can be done in moderation. For women, your best bet is to continue to value your self-worth and if you can do so without causing any collateral damage, maybe even appear to have other men around you that are interested in you. For men, try not to confess your undying love for the woman you’re interested in right away.

In both cases you have to be careful because being too aloof or too unavailable can cause the one person you’re actually interested in to inevitably lose their interest in you. So while you may not way to be screaming about being single or loving them right away, it’s important that you give them enough of your attention so that they can at least understand that they have a chance with you. From there, let the relationship develop naturally and once you’re comfortable enough with them, it’s time to drop the act and let them know how you really feel.

While playing hard to get can be fun and enticing it simply can’t go on forever. If you’re dating them maybe give yourself a legitimate limit as to how far the playing hard to get will go. Promise yourself that after the fifth date (at the latest) you’ll let them know how you’re feeling about them or you’ll start to bring up the conversation that may involve establishing that you’re not interested in dating other people and you’d like to head towards commitment town.

Do Opposites Really Attract? Race and Religion in Online Dating

We’ve all heard the age old phrase that claims “opposites attract.” When it comes to dating, being a little different than your partner can be extremely rewarding because it allows you to see the world through a new perspective and allows you to challenge each other in different ways. However, when it comes down to more serious topics such as religion, do opposites truly tend to gravitate towards each other?

Much of what can determine this is an individual’s “religious attitude.” By this we mean how strongly you believe in and practice your religion. Studies have shown that those who believe in their religion but hold their convictions more lightly are better liked than those who beliefs are unwaveringly strong. This comes to us as no surprise. Typically those whose beliefs hold much stronger are far more apt to want to discuss religion regularly which can cause conflict if you have different beliefs and can also make you feel like they’re trying to impress their religion upon you. Of course we aren’t saying that you should stop attending church every Sunday or give up on your faith for the sake of dating, however it may not be a terrible idea to try and avoid talking about it every conversation you have with your partner.

Race can be another factor when it comes to dating. In a perfect world we all would get along perfectly regardless of the color of our skin but we all know that’s not the case. However, we found that when it comes to different races, there aren’t really any major difference between which ethnicity is messaged or matched more when it comes to online dating. A major player that should be considered when relating race to dating also comes back to religion and what religious background we assume someone holds because of the way that they look.

What should always be considered when you’re online dating is the fact that just because you’ve managed to match online that doesn’t meant that they’re definitely your soul mate. There are so many different parts of each individual that online dating websites have no way to account for so take every match with a grain of salt and go into each conversation with an open mind.

The largest piece of successfully meeting someone has far more to do with being understanding and holding as little judgement up front as you possibly can. You may not agree 100% on your religious convictions, but that doesn’t mean that you should immediately write them off. When it comes to opposites attracting, the idea has been found to have far more to do with each person’s flexibility in the relationship and their willingness to try to understand their partner.

Hot or Not? How Your Profile Picture Affects Your Inbox

First impressions are everything. When it comes to online dating, this idea tends to be extremely significant. We can’t help but judge people based on their looks, and when we’re searching for love through the use of dating websites, profile photos are the first things that other potential matches see and the first chance they have to judge us. Is your profile photo hot or not? How your profile picture affects your inbox can be directly related to the pictures you choose to post of yourself, so putting your best photo forward is definitely within the realm of your best interests.

We all are well aware of the ways in which the media and society have created unrealistic images in regards to how women and men should look. This can cause a lot of personal struggle as we find it impossible to recreate the model like photos women and men are constantly comparing themselves to. While we’d like to think that people are more concerned about our personalities instead of our looks that simply isn’t true. Statistically men and women who are considered extremely attractive get about four times more messages than those who are considered average or unattractive.

With this being said, there are ways in which you can take pictures of yourself that show off your favorite features that make you feel confident. When you’re taking an oh-so-hip selfie try to use natural lighting by sitting or standing in front of a window. The sunlight tends to highlight your face perfectly and will make the photo look effortless. While we all can appreciate the smoldering straight face look, smiling in profile photos tends to gain a better response. So bare those pearly whites and snap a few pictures! When you’re choosing which selfie to use as your profile one pick one where you look natural and happy in, people want to talk to happy people.

While more attractive people are more likely to send and receive the most messages that doesn’t mean you should feel discouraged if you don’t fit into the generic beauty standards we’re bombarded with every single day. Everyone is attracted to different kinds of people and how attractive you perceive a person to be can wax and wane as time goes on and you get to know them. When it comes down to it, your confidence will take you a long way in the dating game. Don’t forget that while you’re surfing online dating communities it’s important to consider all aspects of someone’s personality.  Not just their ranking on your hotness scale.

Is Age Just a Number? How Your Age Affects Your Chances

In a perfect world age would just be a number and people wouldn’t rely on a person’s age as the sole reason that determines whether or not they will date someone. We wouldn’t have to worry about men our own age dating women 5+ years younger than us and being 35 wouldn’t have anything to do with whether or not they’ll message us first. Unfortunately, that is not the world we live in. So, is age just a number? Some people say that they’re like a fine wine, and get sweeter with age, but some statistics tend to point the other way…

For all of the women out there who are hanging out a little late in the dating game, all hope is not lost! While you may not have the years on your side you do have more knowledge and experience that will put you one step ahead of the younger generations. You’re at a place in your life where you’re well established in your career financially stable and ready to make a long lasting commitment. Use the fact that you now know exactly what you want in a man to your advantage and don’t even think about settling for less than what you want.

While men tend to date younger women the older they get, women have an opposite approach. After turning 20, women become more okay with the idea of dating a man who is significantly older than them. Whether it’s because women enjoy the fact that older men typically have a plan and are ready to wholeheartedly commit to them or it’s because they have a sense of direction and stability that younger men typically don’t gain for a few more years, younger women are opening up their dating pool by quite a few years.

For all of the men who are trying to find a woman out there to get to know and potentially start a relationship with keep in mind that honesty is the best policy. If you’re not ready for a long lasting commitment let her know early on, if you’re feeling like the right thing for you is to begin thinking about a future together then be sure to communicate that with her as well. Communication is important in any healthy relationship and as long as you’re being open with each other and discussing anything that may affect your relationship, such as age, then in the end it will all work out.

Keep in mind that regardless of age, we are attracted to who we are attracted to and sometimes age can just be a number. Try not to get too hung up on how old or young a person is and instead spend some time truly getting to know them making sure that age aside, they’re a good match for you.