How to Take It to the Next Level

How to Take It to the Next Level

Are you feeling stuck in a relationship? Is the dating fun but is any hint of commitment met with a blank stare or awkward laugh? Majority of budding relationships experience this kind of awkward “we’re not on the same page” experience for a variety of reasons. With online dating, this experience is magnified because many individuals see the next potential dream date to be just a click away.

Here are some signs that the relationship has stalled:

  • No sex
  • Just sex
  • The spark is gone but the dating continues – for convenience or comfort
  • “Me” mentality instead of “Us” mentality
  • Living for today and not thinking about the future

Before you even consider approaching the person you are dating about taking the relationship to the next level, you need to be sure you can accept whatever answers will come your way and be able to define your current relationship to your regular dating partner. In other words, you cannot rely on emotions or catchy feelings. For instance, are you casually dating? Could you be in an open relationship? Has it just been a few months and you are in your honeymoon stage? Has there been any major arguments that have not been resolved? Are you looking for answers because you don’t want to waste your time or do you really see “forever” with this person?

Here are simple steps you can do to move the relationship forward:

Step 1. Retreat and ponder over your personal feelings for the other person. Be honest with yourself and while you may ask friends for advice and opinions, the ultimate answers have to come from you – sincerely and from the heart.

Step 2. Find the right time to bring up the topic. Although you may be ready to talk seriously about the relationship, your dating partner may be taken off guard. If so, the reaction may not be pleasing to see. He or she could reject the idea outright or start to feel pressure that could cause feelings of anger or irritation. The right time would be a quiet private place with some advance notice to the other party that you would like to have a serious discussion.

Step 3. Don’t let the “What if” thoughts dominate the conversation. At best, the other person agrees to move forward with the relationship, or hopefully, you get a straight answer that will help you decide whether to wait until the other party is ready or to step away and look elsewhere. Either way, you win because you will personally be taking charge of your life.

How to Escape from a Romantic Rejection Cycle

How to Escape from a Romantic Rejection Cycle

Romantic rejection is when the person you are in a personal, intimate, and loving relationship with decides to end it abruptly. It happens to everyone; however, online romantic rejection appears to be the most brutal kind. Yet, many people find themselves willing to be in the cycle of romantic rejection because of hopes that the right person will eventually come around. Why?

Seven years ago, surveys revealed that a person engaging in online dating had one in 285,000 chance of finding the right life partner. This 2017, 74% of those who engage in online dating are finding the right person to start a committed relationship with as compared to 49% who end up in a relationship through offline dating. Big surprise! The Internet has definitely changed over the years and trust rating is through the roof. This is mainly because those behind the websites have credibly secured their sites and improved usability and friendliness. In addition, majority of online daters believe strongly in fidelity and committed relationships.

Online romantic rejection was studied in 2015 by the experts from the Michigan University. Those who were rejected online suffered higher stress levels and depression than those who were rejected in a face to face meeting.

If you tried online dating, then you know that sinking feeling that happens when someone swipes you off with a “thumbs down” even before that first meeting. Eventually, you find yourself doing the same thing to other people, which is one way to numb the feeling of rejection. However, there are other approaches you can try to not make rejection a big deal when trying online dating.

Most of the time, it’s not about you!

First, accept that often rejection is not about you but about the expectations of the other person. Keep reminding yourself that one rejection is nothing; it’s just one person out of the thousands out there looking for relationships.

Don’t give up!

Second, after rejection, get back online and look for other potential partners. You should also review those you have seen before and assess them from your fresh perspective.  Could it be you have been picking “eye candy” over substance and compatibility?

Look for a deeper connection.

Third, connect to people who already appreciate you. Emotional support is critical in trashing negativity from others.  It also prevents you from creating a mental mess and damaging your self-confidence.

Make sure to heal your wounds first.

Finally, the wounds of rejection should be healed as soon as possible so they don’t pile up. Thus, before you go back and try dating again, heal the hurt, embarrassment, or shame you may be feeling. You will find the person who will be a good match. The odds are in your favor!

The Good and Bad in Using Online Dating Memes

A meme is a new global phenomenal cult social word that portrays a funny, philosophical, dramatic, or ridiculous idea or behavior. However, the term was introduced over 40 years ago by scientific philosopher, Richard Dawkins. Most memes are used by Millennials in social media although because of its nature, it should not come as a surprise that Baby Boomers and Gen X users have begun to use them as well and it’s very common with online daters.

The Difference between a Message and a Meme

There are several reasons why memes are used instead of messages. First, it’s a better ice breaker whether you’re chatting online or face-to-face. Second, it’s widely accepted as a safe topic. Third, you’re just sharing – it’s not your thoughts or opinions which makes it relatively safe.

According to psychologists, the main difference between sending a message and sharing a meme is:

  • With messages, the emphasis is on the sender’s idea whether it is political, social, moral or commercial.
  • With memes, the emphasis is on the receiver. Memes are worthless unless there is a person you can share it with. However, for memes to be effective, you have to make sure it fits with the profile of the receiver.

The Best about Memes

Your choice of memes is a reflection of who you are. It affords others a glimpse into your character, sense of humor, and values, among others. For example, if you only show the latest trending memes, it implies that you are very active online and puts some importance in being the first to share or being socially alert.

Memes are fun! They are often witty and can say exactly what you want to say – but better! Memes can also make you popular and be the person everyone would want to hang out with.

The Sad and Negative Facts from Sharing the Wrong Memes

Memes are powerful and can have devastating effects on your online dating profile and reputation. Did you know that, just like advertising, memes can be subliminal? The memes you choose may have a hidden message that you do not want to be associated with. The best you can do is to study and check the meme before sharing it. You can also do a quick online check on the response of others on the meme.

Unfortunately, you can become the image in the meme if you’re not careful. Memes are pictures of people not always used with the permission of the individual. Any photos you have on your online accounts can be used by another person to damage your reputation. Sadly, the image may be cropped which could distort the true story behind the photo.

Finally, memes can be offensive so avoid using meme generators which can help you stay true to who you are. Instead, sit on memes you like and see how others respond to them first before using them. Fortunately, many Internet users are vocal and freely give their opinions which should help you gauge the general reaction to a meme.

 

 

 

 

 

Why are Some Guys Luckier than Others in Finding a Great Online Match?

Actually, the idea that men are luckier in finding online matches compared to women is a myth. It really depends on how you handle your affairs online. For instance, it is not unusual to find unattractive men getting the hot girl because he has charisma or stature or the nerd finding his wife online because he was sincere and honest in dealing with the women he met online.

According to women who have met their match online, what caught their eye was not so much the profile picture but the message of the profile picture; not so much the credentials but the fact that while the guy was looking for women to date; he was not stalking, preening, or trying to be the ultimate alpha male.

What makes a woman want to date a man from a dating site?

  • His photo looks candid, not staged
  • He has a life that is not only about dating, sex, and partying
  • He works but knows how to prioritize and organize his time
  • He’s not always online!

It’s Not All Luck; Online Dating is Serious Fun

One of the important facts about online dating is that you have players and you have those who sincerely want to find a match. Can you tell the difference?

Before you schedule a meet-up or even consider chatting with someone, give the profile a serious look. You should even consider looking them up on the Internet. Players tend to post their photos because it validates their existence and makes them feel important.

Did you know that on certain men’s websites, there are tips on how to attract certain types of women?

The Simple Word Trick

This theory states that by using simple words like “healthy”, “honest,” and “laugh,” you increase your chances of attracting messages by 17%?

The Full Body Shot Theory

This theory states that if you use a full body shot, you increase your chances of attracting interested women by 203%! However, if the full body shot is a group picture, the chances drop by 42% while an outdoor solo full body shot increases your chances by 19% more.

Given these theories, the reality is that there are men who will do whatever it takes to attract interest. The question is: are they sincere, honest, and true to character or are they just using scientific study for playing around?

 

What to Do to Find Your Match

The first thing you have to do is to forget about any stories you heard about online dating – successful or failed dating stories. It’s time to write your story not go chasing after stories of other people. Online dating can be done properly and there are many wonderful men and women who are searching just like you.

The keys are to:

  • Be honest but don’t be brutally honest. You also don’t owe anyone your story until they express a willingness to hear it.
  • Show who you are: do you have a great sense of humor? What are your hobbies? What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
  • Give everyone a chance but stay true to your values and do the necessary investigating and take the necessary safety measures before you go out with anyone

Finally, take everything you hear and read with caution. Be discerning and if something sounds out of synch with the profile, take no chances.

 

Realistically, What Are Your Chances of Finding a Life Partner Thru Online Dating?

Is online dating the modern-day version of an adult fairy tale? Many people seem to think so, which is why more than 49 million Americans who have tried online dating websites. In fact, the gender ratio of males and females users is almost equal at 52% males to 48% females. According to Statistic Brain, approximately 20% of all serious relationships began with an online connection and 17% of the couples who have married in the last twelve months (2016) started online.

The studies don’t lie. Individuals mostly say they go to online sites to find a match although there is a small percentage of adults who do it for fun and casual sex. A new set of vocabulary has emerged related to online dating that every online dater should be aware of.

What’s the Meaning of:

PUA – Pick-Up Artist is a 1970s term you want to avoid as a tag. It is often used by men (and women) who have been disappointed with the process and have been hurt or embarrassed. It is also used to refer to individuals who are into online dating in pursuit of the ultimate goal in the game of seduction.

Layby – This refers to a person who is still in a relationship but with plans of getting out of it. Part of the plan is “layby” which means setting up new prospects before ending a relationship because the person does not like the idea of being single.

Breadcrumbing – This is done by a person who just loves the chase and has no intention of finding a match.

Cuffing Season – These are the cold months when most single people want to be with someone for one or another reason like avoid holiday blues or being lonely on long winter nights. However, once the warmer months come around, they prefer to be single.

If you can avoid these types of individuals, then you will increase your chances of finding the right match.

How to Spot Fakes

These fakes are relatively easy to detect. They are individuals who gives the bare minimum – all the time. A breadcrumber will contact you once in a while just to keep in touch and do some flirting but is not interested in finding out more about your life. You’re the spare tire that may come in handy one day. If you can’t pin down this person for a date or meet-up, then move on. It’s similar to being “benched.”

You have two choices if you feel you are being breadcrumbed. One, you can confront the person and ask the simple question, “Why?” Try to do it politely and without allowing your ego to get in the way. Two, you could just move on because it could be a precursor to a dim future together if it ever graduates to a relationship.

The Reality of Online Dating

It’s highly likely that you will come across a few individuals who are not the right fit. That’s normal and should not be seen as rejection or any indication that you are less of a catch. Approach each new contact as a potential friend rather than a future life partner. No one really needs to have that kind of pressure from a stranger. Just like fairy tales, if you are meant to be together, it will happen because you click. And don’t forget, fairy tale endings happen, not because of magic, but from patience, honest work, and a willingness to take chances.

Trying Out Online Dating Websites? Here Are 3 Safety Tips

online dating websites

There are well over 50 million single people around. With that many people, you’d think it’d be easy to find a date, and — eventually — “the one.” But with today’s fast-paced, career-focused world, finding the time to go places and meet people is nearly impossible. Thus came the rise of online dating sites. Since their inception, they’ve virtually exploded, and today, one out of every 10 Americans have used an online dating site in some form. Two-thirds of online daters have gone on dates with people that they met online, and almost 25% of users say they’ve met a spouse or began a long-term relationship through dating websites.

However, with this explosion of online dating comes a number of concerns. Mainly, are dating sites safe? Is online dating safe? With shows like Criminal Minds and Catfish: The TV Show, it seems like the answer would be no. There are a few online dating websites out there that have made it their mission to create a safe dating site for users. In addition to using sites that focus more on personal safety, there are a few tips for safety in the online dating space:

  1. When making your online profile, don’t post any contact information This includes phone number, address, email accounts, etc. If you put your Facebook or Twitter page on your profile, be sure to increase the security settings on there as well. You don’t have to hide your true self or anything, but you don’t want the wrong people being able to find your information.
  2. Do some “background check dating.” Don’t be afraid to do a little detective work. If the profile picture seems a little too good to be true, search for that image on Google. An easy way to do that is to right-click on the image and select “Search Google for image.” This’ll let you know if the image was posted elsewhere and determine if it could, in fact, be them. If you’re already chatting with him or her, ask them a question and then ask it differently later. Be on the lookout for any changes to their story, no matter how minor.
  3. When going on the first date, follow these practices: First, tell a friend about it — let somebody know that you’ll be out tonight with somebody you met online. That way, at least somebody knows where you are. Make sure that the date is in a public place — restaurants, coffee shops, etc. Don’t let the initial meeting be at his or her place. It’s best to bring your own car, which puts you in charge of when you leave. And lastly, though it might be tempting or a good way to lighten the mood, avoid drinking alcohol. Alcohol can impair your judgement, which can put you in bad situations.

It’s important not to let the risks of online dating websites turn you off to the practice. It’s an excellent way to meet people, especially for the modern career-oriented woman. Time is a commodity many of us don’t have, and online dating websites help the temporally-challenged ones find the happiness they deserve.

How Not to Be Awkward on a First Date

dating onlineWhat’s more nerve wrecking than dating online? Meeting your match for a first date. You are understandably apprehensive, but since you have made a connection on an online dating site you will want to continue that in person. Nothing will kill the vibe more than being weird when you are trying to clinch a mate.

Considering one in 10 Americans have used online dating sites, and 23% have ended up married, the first date is crucial for dating success. Follow these tips to not be awkward on your first date.

Don’t do dinner
Meeting for dinner can make you feel like you are having an interview with the person you are meeting. Do something fun so your conversations will be natural. You could go picnicking in the park, ice skating, go-carting, or out for ice cream and people watching. This will create instant bonding and will also give you something else to talk about the next time you — hopefully — meet.

Don’t Wait too Long
Almost 60% of dating websites users agree that dating online is a great way to meet others. But, if you hide behind a screen and talk too much, you can potentially run out of topics to discuss on your date. So get to know them in person, not just through your phone.

Don’t Spend too Long
Only spend over an hour on your first date. This way, you can leave if you are not feeling the connection. Or, if you really hit it off, you will build anticipation for the next time you see each other. It’s always a good idea to have an appointment after your date so you have a solid reason to leave when needed.

Call Them
Don’t be old fashioned and leave your date wondering for three days if you enjoyed your time. If you truly enjoyed yourself, contact them right after the date saying so. This will impress them, and who doesn’t like wow factor when getting to know someone? Plus, if you did not mesh, you will never have to contact them again.

Never worry that dating online is unsafe when you use ValiDATE dating. With background checks for all users, you will never have to question your date’s intentions or be uncomfortable. Sign up today!

6 Reasons Online Dating is Better than Offline Dating

Yes we know that it goes against the classic and conventional style of courtship during a relationship, but let’s face it. Online dating is the future of relationships. Here are 6 reasons online dating is better than offline dating:

#1. You weed out all of the mess you usually would have to go on actual dates to figure out. Online dating provides you with a specific avenue as far as selecting people that you actually have things in common with and then pursuing a relationship. Offline dating on the other hand forces you to go on date after date with people you don’t share common interests with and wasting time figuring out whether or not it could work.

#2. You open up your dating scope to everyone who is on the site you’re dating from instead of the direct select few people already in your life. This opens you up to so much more diversity, increasing your chances of finding someone you can spend the rest of your life with happily. By opening up your dating pool you’re giving yourself a lot more options.

#3. Instead of dealing with the pressure to appear a certain way at first, online dating promotes the idea that it’s what’s on the inside that truly counts. Since you don’t have any pressure on you at first as far as keeping up physical appearances, you can 100% be yourself without any precautions. This helps you because now when you’re planning a date, instead of stumbling around trying to figure the other person out, you can confidently be yourself from the get go which will then translate into being confidently yourself when you eventually meet.

#4. With online dating’s efficient way of pre-screening people before agreeing to dates it’s less likely that you’ll have to deal with as many break ups. When you’re dating offline someone may become more attached and breaking it off can be messy and difficult. Online dating takes the majority of that stress away. Since you’re constantly having to communicate in such honest ways and due to the fact that your dating pool has opened up so widely, it’s unlikely that your online prospects will take the choice of not dating them anymore as personally.

#5. You get to keep your standards high without the risk of offending anyone. If someone online isn’t up to your standards then it’s fairly easy to keep them out of your life whereas in person a conversation like that can be extremely difficult to navigate. With multiple ways of pre-screening someone before communicating with them, online dating makes finding a match that’s right for you so much easier than you could’ve imagined.

#6. You get to practice talking to people before actually talking to them. We know this one can be a bit confusing but bear with us. Instead of fumbling for your words on a first date and accidentally bringing up topics your date knows nothing about, instead you get to talk online for a while and get to know each other before subjecting yourselves to a first date. This way when you do meet it goes far smoother and you already have a feel for what topics to discuss comfortably.

Does She Like Me? Here’s How you can Tell

Gents, we’ll be honest; we know that we’re a difficult breed to read. This being said, while we can’t let you in on all of our tricks of the trade, we’ll be happy to share with you a few ways of telling whether or not a girl is interested in you. So, if you’re wondering, “does she like me?” Here’s how you can tell:

Check out her body, and not in that way.

Yes, yes we know that you’ve probably already checked her out now that we’ve given you permission to look, but we ask you to look a little bit harder. Instead of only paying attention to her features, pay attention to her body language as well. If her entire body is turned towards you this probably means that she’s entirely invested in the conversation you’re having and isn’t thinking about what she’s going to make for dinner tonight, so good sign! If she’s leaning toward you or finding excuses to spark a physical connection with you (i.e. the classic arm grab while laughing) this also most likely is a sign that she’s interested in you as more than a friend.

Now that you’re checking her out, do you notice any blushing??

This is one of the most telltale signs that someone is into you. If she is constantly getting flushed around you or seems nervous or tripping over her words it’s very likely that she’s unable to entirely focus while you’re around, aka she’s into you. We often times like to think that we’ve successfully kept our cool around the guy we like, but sometimes our biological response is inevitable and we crack. Giving ourselves away by way of rosy cheeks.

Tell one of your horrible jokes…okay, now. Is she laughing?

Step one of this part is to actually admit that the jokes you’ve been telling to girls for the past five plus years probably aren’t as side-splitting as you’d like to think. Once you can admit that then you can tell which girls are tossing “I like you so I’m going to laugh even though this joke was kind of lame” laughs your way. This isn’t to say that she’s laughing at you, but this is to say that she’s trying to show you that you share a sense of humor and even if she doesn’t think the joke was hilarious she’s willing to still laugh and smile when you tell it because it’s not really about the joke now is it?

The best way to honestly tell if she’s into you or not is to simply ask. You may catch her off guard because we’re doubting very many guys do this often, but in the end you’ll probably be happy you did it. This way if she is, you know it and you can move on to the next step of your relationship and if she isn’t then you can stop wondering and let it go before you become too attached.

Open Minds Open Relationships

For many people the idea of an open relationship seems absolutely ridiculous. That is until we take a deeper look into it and find out that a lot more of us are in or have been in them before. Studies have shown that more than half of college aged people are in or have been at some point in an open relationship and those who haven’t aren’t opposed to them. When we’re young we tend to keep open minds, open relationships thrive off of.

Those who fall in the age group of 18-26 are far more likely to be more adventurous in what kinds of relationships they pursue as well as what they desire to try romantically. Often times at this age monogamy is something that we all desire but just can’t seem to attain so instead, we opt for the easier, less stressful, and in some cases more romantically fulfilling, open relationship. Open relationships can give you the freedom to try new things and figure out who you are and who you want to be without the pressures of a normal relationship. You won’t have to worry about where the two of you will be three years from now and instead can focus on your own success a little more.

This being said, open relationships aren’t for everyone and you shouldn’t settle for something that you don’t want just because other people are doing it. While many thrive off of the noncommittal vibe that comes with an open relationship, others crave the steady embrace of a monogamous relationship and that’s okay too. Being in an exclusive relationship can afford you a constant support system which can be very helpful, especially when you’re trying to figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life.

Studies show that the older we get the more likely we are to want to be in a committed relationship with one single person. This could be due to the fact that as we age we begin to want to settle down and having a partner to count on in your life that constantly builds you up and makes you better can help a lot as far as growing up.

Whether it’s a fad of the youth or something that will stand the test of time, open relationships are something that can be a lot of fun when done the right way. It’s important to remember that it’s only an open relationship if all parties involved have talked about it and agreed to the circumstances. The title of an open relationship doesn’t give you free reign to do whatever you want romantically without consequence unless everyone is aware of the relationships status. Whether you enjoy monogamy or not, communication in any type of relationship is a must.