Are you feeling stuck in a relationship? Is the dating fun but is any hint of commitment met with a blank stare or awkward laugh? Majority of budding relationships experience this kind of awkward “we’re not on the same page” experience for a variety of reasons. With online dating, this experience is magnified because many individuals see the next potential dream date to be just a click away.
Here are some signs that the relationship has stalled:
- No sex
- Just sex
- The spark is gone but the dating continues – for convenience or comfort
- “Me” mentality instead of “Us” mentality
- Living for today and not thinking about the future
Before you even consider approaching the person you are dating about taking the relationship to the next level, you need to be sure you can accept whatever answers will come your way and be able to define your current relationship to your regular dating partner. In other words, you cannot rely on emotions or catchy feelings. For instance, are you casually dating? Could you be in an open relationship? Has it just been a few months and you are in your honeymoon stage? Has there been any major arguments that have not been resolved? Are you looking for answers because you don’t want to waste your time or do you really see “forever” with this person?
Here are simple steps you can do to move the relationship forward:
Step 1. Retreat and ponder over your personal feelings for the other person. Be honest with yourself and while you may ask friends for advice and opinions, the ultimate answers have to come from you – sincerely and from the heart.
Step 2. Find the right time to bring up the topic. Although you may be ready to talk seriously about the relationship, your dating partner may be taken off guard. If so, the reaction may not be pleasing to see. He or she could reject the idea outright or start to feel pressure that could cause feelings of anger or irritation. The right time would be a quiet private place with some advance notice to the other party that you would like to have a serious discussion.
Step 3. Don’t let the “What if” thoughts dominate the conversation. At best, the other person agrees to move forward with the relationship, or hopefully, you get a straight answer that will help you decide whether to wait until the other party is ready or to step away and look elsewhere. Either way, you win because you will personally be taking charge of your life.