Is online dating the modern-day version of an adult fairy tale? Many people seem to think so, which is why more than 49 million Americans who have tried online dating websites. In fact, the gender ratio of males and females users is almost equal at 52% males to 48% females. According to Statistic Brain, approximately 20% of all serious relationships began with an online connection and 17% of the couples who have married in the last twelve months (2016) started online.
The studies don’t lie. Individuals mostly say they go to online sites to find a match although there is a small percentage of adults who do it for fun and casual sex. A new set of vocabulary has emerged related to online dating that every online dater should be aware of.
What’s the Meaning of:
PUA – Pick-Up Artist is a 1970s term you want to avoid as a tag. It is often used by men (and women) who have been disappointed with the process and have been hurt or embarrassed. It is also used to refer to individuals who are into online dating in pursuit of the ultimate goal in the game of seduction.
Layby – This refers to a person who is still in a relationship but with plans of getting out of it. Part of the plan is “layby” which means setting up new prospects before ending a relationship because the person does not like the idea of being single.
Breadcrumbing – This is done by a person who just loves the chase and has no intention of finding a match.
Cuffing Season – These are the cold months when most single people want to be with someone for one or another reason like avoid holiday blues or being lonely on long winter nights. However, once the warmer months come around, they prefer to be single.
If you can avoid these types of individuals, then you will increase your chances of finding the right match.
How to Spot Fakes
These fakes are relatively easy to detect. They are individuals who gives the bare minimum – all the time. A breadcrumber will contact you once in a while just to keep in touch and do some flirting but is not interested in finding out more about your life. You’re the spare tire that may come in handy one day. If you can’t pin down this person for a date or meet-up, then move on. It’s similar to being “benched.”
You have two choices if you feel you are being breadcrumbed. One, you can confront the person and ask the simple question, “Why?” Try to do it politely and without allowing your ego to get in the way. Two, you could just move on because it could be a precursor to a dim future together if it ever graduates to a relationship.
The Reality of Online Dating
It’s highly likely that you will come across a few individuals who are not the right fit. That’s normal and should not be seen as rejection or any indication that you are less of a catch. Approach each new contact as a potential friend rather than a future life partner. No one really needs to have that kind of pressure from a stranger. Just like fairy tales, if you are meant to be together, it will happen because you click. And don’t forget, fairy tale endings happen, not because of magic, but from patience, honest work, and a willingness to take chances.