It’s no secret that relationships are difficult and while there are many wonderful things about them there are a few major things that could be destroying it. You could be ruining your relationship and not even know it, here are the four most unnoticed relationship killers:
#1. You can’t skip out on treating yourself.
While you may love giving all of your time to your partner that doesn’t mean you can neglect your own wants and needs. Having time away from your significant other gives you time to pursue what interests you, time to process different things that are going on in your life, and time to explore hobbies and find out what makes you happy outside of the relationship. While it’s wonderful to have someone who means the world to you sometimes, turning them into your sole interest and focus can end up hurting the relationship more than helping it. We’re all human which means we’re always growing and learning and there will always be some things we need to learn on our own.
#2. Don’t stop asking questions.
After being with someone for a while it’s common to become comfortable and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The problem ensues when we stop being curious about our partner. While you may plan date nights and watch your favorite shows together, are you still really communicating with each other? People change all of the time and if you want to stick together through those changes you have to be willing to constantly get to know your significant other. Try to spend at least 10 to 20 minutes a day really talking with each other. Avoid topics like the house and the mortgage or how the kids are doing in school and instead, try to bring back those first couple of date’s type of questions.
#3. It’s okay to sweat the small stuff!
While the fact that your partner chewed kind of loudly was just something you dealt with for a while, eventually it will start to get to you. While we’ve all heard the whole “pick and choose your battles” theory that doesn’t mean that little bothers should just be swept under the rug, never to be dragged out again. Instead, address what’s bothering you in a non-aggressive and understanding way. You’ll be able to communicate with your partner without crushing their feelings as well as stopping it from becoming a bigger problem later on. Keep yourself using “I” statements instead of being accusatory and soon, there will be less small stuff to sweat!
#4. Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to say “I love you”
It might be the most romantic holiday of the year, but if the only time you’re expressing your love for your partner is on special occasions the fire is going to fizzle out pretty quickly. Instead let them know daily that you love and appreciate them. Feeling desired is what helps keeps relationships going because there’s nothing worse than feeling unwanted by the person you love most. Tell them how you feel and tell them often!