DON’T SAY “I LOVE YOU” (Until You’ve Read This)

How do you know you’ve hit that crucial time in a relationship where you’re ready to profess those three special words to each other? And even if you’re ready, should you be the one to say it first? While we may believe (due to the stigma that romantic comedies have thrust upon us) that women are almost always the ones to fall in love first, studies have shown that typically men are the ones who think about and profess their love first in a relationship—and here we all thought men were afraid of commitment!

And now we’re back to wondering why that is? Researchers concluded that women are more okay with waiting longer to profess their love because of fairly primal and biological reasons. Due to the fact that women are the child bearers of the human race this causes them to be far more selective in regards to the men they want to allow into and keep in their lives as romantic partners. We know this sounds super Darwin of us, but it’s due to the fact that they want to be sure they’re choosing the right “mate” for themselves that they would be able to reproduce and spend a life with.

On the other hand, the question of when to say it still is a baffling one. While according to studies men were happier hearing professions of love before having sex with their partner, women were happier hearing the professions after having had sex with their partner. Men involved in the studied said that they felt like the confessions were more genuine if said before having sex, and this caused a more positive reaction and experience a greater amount of happiness if “I love you” was said before doing the deed.

However with women involved in the study, they believed that saying “I love you” before having sex was far less sincere. Many women have experienced at some time or another a man confessing his supposed love for her just to get into her pants. So gents, maybe say the magic words a little later on.

Either way, the most important part of saying “I love you” is making sure that you genuinely feel those emotions and mean what you’re saying. The profession of love leads to a commitment that is a pretty big deal and if you’re not ready for that, that’s okay too. In relationships one of the best things you could do is be honest with each other. And if you’re going to say it then make sure you’re ready to show it. Half of being in love is simply being there for your partner. If you aren’t ready to commit yourself to being an important part of another person’s life yet then it’s not the best idea to spew words dripping with “I love you” their way.