We all know the feeling. The one where you see a person from across the room and your breath catches in your wind pipe. It seems like the world has stopped spinning and for a second you can’t form any words. Every time you see them your face flushes and your heart beat speeds up to match the pace of your tapping, impatient foot and it’s only when they are out of the room that you feel as though you can relax again. That feeling you’ve just experienced my friend was lust at first sight. That’s right, we said lust not love.
The big problem for most individuals is that they don’t know the difference between love and lust. While lust is a purely primal, physical and sexual attraction to someone, love holds its roots far deeper within us. The infatuation that we experience is typically short lived and is common in the early stages of a relationship. It can almost translate into an obsessive state of mind. When that eventually fizzles out and fades away it leaves you with the question of whether or not everything you had been feeling before was love.
The first step to recognizing whether or not you love a person that you’re infatuated with is to take them off of that ridiculously high pedestal you’ve been letting them hang out at in your mind and start to really pay attention to who they are. Lust tends to veil our eyes and we don’t end up seeing the truth in a person’s character because we’re so wrapped up in the intense feelings we have for them at the moment. So, bring them back down to the ground with you and start to have some honest conversations where you pay attention more to what they’re saying and less to what they look like while saying it.
Love is an ebb and flow type of thing. It isn’t always doe eyed and wonderful and it won’t constantly consist of nonsensical arguments that leave you tossing and turning all night. There will be ups and downs within the relationship, but you’ll want to work it out not walk out.
In the end, love is a choice. There will always be someone who is “hotter” or funnier than you or the person you’re dating, but there is only one you. You are a remarkably unique individual as is whichever person you choose to spend your life with. Getting to know the ins and outs of another human being can take a long time and the road won’t always be easy, but when you’re in love with them, really truly in love, you’ll do everything to get through the tough times because you know that’s what will make the good times even better.