Are You Dating the Wrong Man? 8 Ways to Tell

Dating a new guy can spur a lot of excitement, but sometimes your gut may cut that excitement short with the dreadful feeling that something may not be just right. Could it be jitters? Maybe, but there are often clear warning signs which can help you figure out if your new man is worth the long haul. Here are a few things to look out for:

  1. Your Man isn’t Reliable

If your man wants to spend time with you, he will try his best to spend time with you. Plain and simple. Being unreliable or flaky with plans is a huge red flag. Excuses will only get him so far; he will only continue to waste your precious time as the relationship continues.

Everyone has busy lives these days, but effort is what’s important here. If he’s really into you, he will clear out even a little bit of time to grab a coffee. If he is not even trying, he may not be as into you as you think.

  1. Your Man Doesn’t Share Your Sense of Humor

You don’t have to have the exact same sense of humor, but it’s important for each of you to “get” one another and be able to make the other one laugh. If neither of you are laughing at the other’s jokes, it may be a sign that you don’t sync up that well.

  1. Your Man Keeps You Separate from His Friends

There is a big difference between making time for just the two of you and staying out of someone else’s social circles. The right person would want to “show you off” to his friends. Is he not introducing you to his friends? There’s probably a reason for that, and it isn’t good.

  1. Your Man Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries

Boundaries are very important early on in a new relationship, and how well those are respected is a clear sign of how well a relationship will last. If you say no to something (and activity, plans a certain night, anything), the right guy will understand and accept no for an answer. If they keep trying to get a “yes” out of you, then you have a problem with boundaries.

  1. Your Man Doesn’t Really Listen to You

He goes on and on about his day or his problems, but never seems fully interested in yours. When talking to him, he always seems to be waiting for his turn to speak, instead of taking in what you have to say. Sound familiar? Your man is not listening to you. Find someone who cares about and respects your opinions, even if the topic is as simple as where you want to have dinner tonight.

  1. Your Man is Clingy

Wanting to spend time with you is normal. Wanting to never leave your side can be unhealthy. You both need alone time. While a relationship is (ideally) a large source of happiness in your lives, it should not be the only one.

  1. Spending Time with Your Man Drains You

If you feel emotionally spent after spending time with your man, there’s the possibility he is an “Emotional Vampire” – someone who sucks on your emotional energy for their own happiness, instead of building something positive together. This is different from the occasional fight.  Fights are healthy, but if you consistently feel exhausted after being with your man, it might be time to walk away.

  1. You Avoid Difficult Conversations with Your Man

Not discussing heavy topics on the first date is often a good strategy, but down the line, a serious relationship needs open communication to thrive. Have you discussed political views? Do you want kids? Does he? Where do you each see yourselves living? Talk to one another and make sure you can each respect each others’ views; otherwise it’s time to move on.